It’s coming up on American Thanksgiving, so — what better than a silly poem by the master of silliness, Edward Lear, about a couple of old bachelors who want some sage for their stuffing, and the only sage they find out about lives on the top of a “purpledicular” cliff!
Our Poem of the Week is silly, for sure, but where the heck has all the silliness gone? Yesterday I slipped in, for Thanksgiving, the lyrics of a silly song about eating too much — which I found in the same community songbook where I found the Hymn of the Week, Deep River. Who writes silly songs, in our time? Where’s that beloved Scarecrow of happy memory, who sings,
I’d not be just a nuffin’,
My head all full of stuffin’,
My heart all full of pain —
And perhaps I’d deserve you
And be even worthy erv you,
If I only had a brain!
Or there’s that wonderful song about the Hole in the Bottom of the Sea, or my favorite limerick of all, which does what Edward Lear does in most of his limericks, that is, it repeats one of the rhyming words, but it does it in the cleverest way (I’ll set it down here a couple of lines below). The great John Ruskin said, “I really don’t know any author to whom I am half so grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put him first of my hundred authors.” So — let’s be merry today — and merriment is joy’s country cousin!
The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
Called a hen “a most elegant creature.”
The hen, pleased at that,
Laid an egg in his hat,
And thus did the hen reward Beecher.
Two old Bachelors were living in one house; One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,— “This happens just in time! For we’ve nothing in the house, Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey, And what to do for dinner—since we haven’t any money? And what can we expect if we haven’t any dinner, But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?” Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,— “We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin’! If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well; But how to get that Stuffin’ it is difficult to tell!” Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down; They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. But some one said, “A hill there is, a little to the north, And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth; And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,— An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page. Climb up, and seize him by the toes,—all studious as he sits,— And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits! Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),— When your Stuffin’ will be ready, and very good—perhaps.” Those two old Bachelors without loss of time The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb; And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook, They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. “You earnest Sage!” aloud they cried, “your book you’ve read enough in! We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin’!” But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, At those two Bachelors’ bald heads a certain aim he took; And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,— At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want of Stuffin’), The Mouse had fled—and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
Word & Song by Anthony Esolen is an online magazine devoted to reclaiming the good, the beautiful, and the true. We publish six essays each week, on words, classic hymn, poems, films, and popular songs, as well a weekly podcast, alternately Poetry Aloud or Anthony Esolen Speaks. To support this project, please join us as a free or paid subscriber. Learn more about our subscription tiers by clicking the button below.
